Mom and Me: You have the power to change
The blessing isn't always found in the exit strategy.
From when I was a boy through early adulthood, my mom always encouraged me to go after what seemed impossible. If there were a girl that I wanted to ask out, she would say, "Go ask her, Byron, all she can say is 'NO.' If I were frustrated with a life situation, she would, with her encouragement, push me out the door of frustration and through the door of action. "If you don’t like it, Byron, change it!” There were some good lessons in this, and it's helped me step into places and opportunities I probably wouldn't have taken without her prompting me to step out boldly.
Introduction: The Western Disease of "Next"
In our Western culture, we are conditioned to be problem-solvers. If a room is too cold, we turn up the heat. If we don’t like our job, we browse LinkedIn. If we are unhappy in a season of life, we assume something is "broken" and needs to be "fixed."
We have developed a theology of entitlement—the belief that if we are uncomfortable, we are entitled to change our circumstances immediately. But as we look at Scripture, we have to ask a difficult question: Is our primary calling to change our situation, or to be changed by it?
The Scriptural Standard of Enough
The Bible speaks a language that feels foreign to our consumer-driven hearts.
Luke 12:15 warns us: "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (NIV)
1 Timothy 6:6-8 takes it further, stripping life down to its barest essentials: "But godliness with contentment is great gain... if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." (NIV)
Paul, writing from a prison cell, gives us the famous words of Philippians 4:11-13. He says he has "learned the secret" to being content in any situation, whether well-fed or hungry. We often quote verse 13—"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (NKJV)—as a slogan for achieving our goals. But in context, Paul is saying Christ gives him the strength to endure his current circumstances, not necessarily to escape them.
Before we can be abandoned for our callings and purposes, it is wise that we first be abandoned to God Himself. To be abandoned to Him signifies a total surrender and union. It is the realization that we are not our own.
In the Western church, when we feel discontented, our immediate reaction is to fix it. But our first call is always the act of abandoning ourselves to His sovereignty. We cannot be abandoned for Him without first being abandoned to Him.
Is it Time to Change, or Time to Stay?
How do we know if a difficult situation is a "closed door" we should walk away from, or a "blessing" in disguise intended to refine us?
Hebrews 13:5 gives us the anchor: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" (NIV)
The indicator isn't our comfort level; it’s our proximity to Him. If our desire to change our circumstances is born out of an entitled heart that says, "I deserve better," we are likely running from a lesson God wants to teach us. If we haven't first sought His will, we are merely practicing self-preservation, not discipleship.
Conclusion: The Call to Surrender
The blessing isn't always found in the exit strategy. Sometimes, the blessing is the furnace itself.
Before you try to change your circumstances, ask yourself: "Am I abandoned to God in this moment?" If you are truly surrendered to His will, you may find that the "change" you were looking for wasn’t a change of scenery, but a change of heart.
My mom had it right some of the time. Her only goal was to help me learn to be bold and brave. But always going out to change my circumstances led me to believe I should change them whenever I want. I had to stop trying to manage my life for God and start surrendering it to Him. This, in turn, leads me to contentment that the world can neither give nor take away.